Welcome to Tampa

Dear Tampa brass,

I am writing this letter to you, to put you all on notice. I might have slowed down over the last few months but that doesn't mean I've been blind to our present situation. Our Titanic has just hit an iceberg.
Against my better judgement, I have allowed Joe Torre to stay and Brian Cashman to trade away some major stars so we can have some "cap relief." Well we're not the stinking Kansas City Royals, we're the New York Yankees.
This team is chock full of over-priced stars and suddenly we get a conscience and trade away some names for some young guys that haven't had their career years.
Some may say guys were using us to get the max deals for years that they put in that were more anomalys than results based on actual skill. But we earned that right.
Who doesn't want to play for the Yankees? Now I got some issues with this team and here they are in importance:
A-Rod- We pay him a lot of money to play baseball and well at that. Not to cry to the press about his falling out with DJ. We knew way back when that he couldnt compare to what DJ brings to us, but we decided to take his contract and his bad postseason stats just to spite those Red Sox. But that came back to haunt us that year.
I want him to know that this year will be either his last as a Yankee, or the last contract he'll sign with a big league team ever! I refuse to believe that paying him all that money is ridiculous.

DJ (Derek Jeter)- You bang so many hot girls that your phone book must read like the Yellow Pages. Slow down kid. I know your the hottest thing out since sliced bread for these girls, but since you started showing up in page 6 we've slowly been getting away from the back pages for the right reasons! I want you to dump the broad ASAP and concentrate on baseball you hear me?

Bernie (Williams)- Nothing personal Bernie but we all know this is a business. You knew that you weren't going to be Yankee forever, right? I mean sure your a loveable guy and everybody enjoys your presence but come on, what do you want us to do retire you on the bench just cuz you were a Yankee lifer? We know that's not possible. So how about returning our phone calls and stop being like that little high school girl that gets dumped.

Joe (Torre)- Let me make one thing clear: I dont care how long you want to coach, if you can't get it done this year, I'll never forgive myself or those clowns around me that managed to keep you here in pinstripes for another year to see Piniella on another team. You have got to realize that the team is not only depending on a championship, we're expecting it. I make the final call and I think its clear what my decision is: No ring on finger for this year, no ring on telephone for next year!

Brian (Cashman)- I let you cut my cap because you got this little hunch that Roger Clemens will be wearing pinstripes in June. Apparently he's 80-20 sure he's retiring. If you dont get his ass off the unemployment line and deliver me a stud Ace or a great year, your going to be sitting next to Roger and i'll find someone who DOES know how to spend my money!

finally, to all my Yankee fans, be patient. I realize those bums in Queens are getting really talented and young, but we're not sitting idly by. I've been told by Brian that we got a lot of high cieling guys in those trades, whatever the hell that means!

What am I saying, potential never won championships! Lets start spending again like the carefree days!

Sincerely,
George Steinbrenner